


Five Minutes to Midnight

by hopefulundertone



Series: enmity of ages- past, present, future [5]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-24
Updated: 2014-09-24
Packaged: 2018-02-18 15:05:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2352695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopefulundertone/pseuds/hopefulundertone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor and the Master are trapped on a Sontaran ship (thanks, Doctor) and it's five minutes to midnight on New Year's Eve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Minutes to Midnight

**Author's Note:**

> Rough, un-beta'd, you know the drill. It's cracky-ish, it's fluffy-ish, minimal plot.

5 Minutes to Midnight- C  
  
  
"Rassilon's sake, Doctor. You really don't know how to fly a Tardis, do you?" The Master glared at the Time Lord crouching beside him. The idiot had managed to pilot them straight into a Sontaran invasion fleet, and they only managed to hide at the last possible moment. Of course, the Tardis was on the other side of the ship, and all the Sontarans had to do to find them was open the supply closet they were hiding in.  
"Just like old times, eh?" The Doctor grinned breathlessly at the Master, who rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall. "Got a plan, Mr. Fantastic?"  
"Well, maybe twelve percent of one. Or, y'know, three percent of one. You know how unreliable percentage can be as a unit of measurement, really-" An extremely loud beep interrupted him, and he glanced down at his watch as the Master hissed, "Shush!"  
"Huh."  
"What?"  
"Nah, its nothing-"  
"Just say it, my last thoughts aren't going to be 'what the hell did that idiot want to say'."  
"Well, I suppose that'd be pretty sad. It's just my watch. It's set to Earth time, and it's five minutes to midnight, New Year's Eve."  
"So?"  
"Oh, nothing. Just did it on a whim."  
  
Four.  
  
"So, any idea how we're going to get back to the Tardis?"  
"Um."  
"Thought not."  
  
Three.  
  
"Well, we could try- nah."  
"How about- probably not."  
"Is blowing them up out of the question?"  
"Yes. I mean, they haven't even done anything to us."  
"Yet."  
"Always the pessimist."  
"Optimism is a lie one tells oneself so one may sleep at night.  
"Brilliant. Who said that?"  
"Former prime minister Harold Saxon."  
"...ah."  
  
Two.  
  
"Well, actually, there is something about New Year's Eve, this tradition humans have-"  
"Is this really the time for a lecture on human culture?"  
"...I suppose not."  
"Thank you."  
  
One.  
  
"Although, I think it would be fun if we tried it? I mean, it's not like the traditions on Gallifrey, but it's quite-"  
"Well, I guess we could always grab these holo-bombs off the grid and- no. That would kill us too. Hmm."  
"Really, Master, I-"  
  
One.  
  
The Doctor's watch began to glow, emitting a sound not unlike the Tardis dematerialising, and at the same time the door slammed open to reveal a very surprised Sontaran. The Master glared at him, looked up at the potato-shaped soldier, and said, "Fuck." in succession. The Doctor simply rolled his eyes.  
"Screw this." Grabbing the Master by the back of his neck, he pulled him into an extremely sloppy (but none the less enjoyable) kiss, before jumping to his feet, hauling the Master with him and, using his superior height, clapped a hand over the stunned Sontaran's port, sidestepping his body as they ran out.  
  
Thus began a crazy dash through the first level of the Sontaran warship, followed by a quick moment puzzling over the controls of the hoverlift, quickly ended with the Doctor's screwdriver. Then more puzzling over the location of the Tardis, which turned out to be at the heart of the warship, where the Doctor managed to convince their leader to not invade Yoto <19> because really, it was quite a decent planet when you thought about it, and if they didn't conquer it, the Yotonians would become a great race worthy of battle, and the Sontarans would probably gain great honour, throughout which the Master only mumbled that the Doctor really needed to get his priorities straight, and it was fine if he wanted to kiss the Master, really, he saw the temptation, but getting shot by a Sontaran for a short makeout, especially one dictated by human tradition no less, was a bit much.  
It was of course the Doctor's last point that convinced them, and the Doctor and the Master quietly slipped away back to the Tarfis while the Sontarans chanted their chant.  
All in all, not too bad an adventure-escapade. The Doctor would probably have rated it 7/10. Maybe an extra point for the makeout.


End file.
